Vulnerability

The Vulnerability Test: How to tell if someone is safe to be vulnerable with.

The Vulnerability Test: How to tell if someone is safe to be vulnerable with.

Most of you reading these words will be in some way like me: We learned very early on in life to close our vulnerability, because we were in an environment that wasn’t safe to expose such a pure part of ourselves. We were judged, shamed, ridiculed, or punished for authentically being. Given such circumstances, learning to close off certain (essential) parts of ourselves was a matter of inner survival.

I know that personally, I got so good at hiding my vulnerability that I nearly forgot I was actually doing it, and the process of first recognizing what I had lost (or buried), then excavating it, was quite intense.

Perhaps you can relate.

Forgiveness Redefined: Letting Go By Finding True Accountability

Forgiveness Redefined: Letting Go By Finding True Accountability

In my early twenties, I got into the most serious romantic relationship of my life up to that point. It was the first time I had deeply fallen in love with a woman. Looking back on it now, it was a borderline religious experience, having my heart opened to the profound magic of intimacy. It was as if a certain sense had been missing throughout my life up until that point - and suddenly I uncovered it and discovered that it was possible to experience it on earth, with another person.

I came into that relationship a very wounded person, with a tremendous amount of baggage I had no idea how to navigate or even acknowledge. The relationship ended tumultuously, due to both of our inability to understand, process or communicate our feelings.