Most of you reading these words will be in some way like me: We learned very early on in life to close our vulnerability, because we were in an environment that wasn’t safe to expose such a pure part of ourselves. We were judged, shamed, ridiculed, or punished for authentically being. Given such circumstances, learning to close off certain (essential) parts of ourselves was a matter of inner survival.
I know that personally, I got so good at hiding my vulnerability that I nearly forgot I was actually doing it, and the process of first recognizing what I had lost (or buried), then excavating it, was quite intense.
Perhaps you can relate.